EEEEEEEE I’M LEAVING IN 14 MINUTES TO PICK UP MY BROTHER FROM THE LITTLE ROCK AIRPORT AND I’M SO EXCITED I COULD THROW UP. WELCOME TO ARKANSAS/COLLEGE/LIFE, BIG LITTLE BRO.
If I ever have a bully for a child, he will at...
Me: Son, the principle called today--he said you've been demanding other children buy you whatever you want with their own money on threat of a black eye or two. What have I told you about bullying mister??
Child: But Mo-ooom! Machiavelli said I could!
Me: Oh, all right. As long as your subjec--peers only fear you now, but think you're a generous, nice prince--uh, boy by the end of your reig--I mean high school. And you must never drive them to HATE you.
Child: Thanks, Mom.
Me: I love you, Lorenzo, my son.